Let me tell you a story, something that I want to share all of you my friends.
Once there was a boy of fourteen who lived together with his big family. He was quiet and never had much friends. That boy would rather stay at home in the company of his books and music. His parents fear that he may live a solitary life as he grew.
One night, the boy couldn't sleep and decided to go down to take a breathe of fresh air. As he go down the stairs, he heard two voices talking in the living room. Voices that he knew so well, two persons who has been constant in his life.
"I am getting worried about him.", the father said. "He always like to be alone and never make friends except for a few he's known."
"Why does that concerns you much?", the mother asked.
"He needs to grow and learn things out in the world. He is weak and soft-spoken."
"My child has always been that way, he is just starting to grow up. He is in his adolescent years, give him time."
The father let out a sigh, so heavy that that the boy felt the weight of it.
"He is gay isn't he?", after moments of silence the father spoke.
The little boy is close to tears. They knew all along but those words dreaded him.
"We have always known that since he was small.", the mother answered. "He is different."
"Yes, I know. I just can't imagine one of my boys to be like that."
"Being gay doesn't matter, my child... he is not doing any harm."
"No it doesn't matter. I am just afraid for him that's all. People might shun him and might stay away from him."
"He got a kind heart and that is enough for him to make it through other people's discrimination."
"I don't know, his life will be a hard road to travel."
"But you do love him, like the rest of your children."
"And that love would never change, no matter what he would become."
Silence followed after and it lays heavy in the air. Tears starts to fall from the boy's eyes. He knows the truth but didn't expect his parents to talk about it. He is aware about his identity but never opened it up to both of them due to fear of rejection. But here, at this moment... after hearing the conversation he felt at loss
"Should I go or should I stay here?", running on his mind. Gathering up his strength, he walked in to the room. His father and mother surprised to see him crying.
"Did I disappoint you?", he asked both of them.
His mother came up to him and hugged him tight, "No you don't my child, we have always known it and accepted you as you are."
"You are never a disappointment for you always brings us joy and pride.", his father said. "Never think that you are because you are you and we don't want to prohibit you from being what you want to be."
"You said that my life would be a hard road to travel.", the boy repeated his father's words.
"It will be my child and you must learn to be strong. You must go out in to the world and learn things, not just from us but from other people, places and situations."
"How?", he asked.
"Soon, you will know how to...", his father replied and with a saddened look on his mother's face.
A month after that event, he was sent to live with his aunt who lived in a small town. It was 5 hours travel from home and how lonely he was. Away from his parents and other siblings. He cried every night, longing for them. His aunt is kind enough to understand what he is going through and treated him like he is a child. Her children are all grown up and living away from her. She gave all the boy needed during his stay there.
Classses soon began and he found himself in a different surrounding. New people he don't knew, strangers. He was alone, sitting quietly by himself inside the class, never takes notice of anything. Until their teacher came and introduced herself. One by one, they need to go to the front and introduce themselves as well. He looks around, all here knew each other except me. Everyone around him is talking and laughing at each other. He is an outcast. Then his name was called and everyone was silent. He heard someone whispering, "Who is that?".
Slowly he got up and walked to the front. Stating his name and where he came from, where he lives now and what he is doing here. Eyes following him while he talked and walked back to his desk. The day went by with new lessons, new teachers and his classmates stealing glances at him. Morning break, a lot of his classmates came up to him. He was scared but then he saw the smiles on their faces that he began to feel comfortable. Soon he found himself telling stories to them. They invited him over for lunch and he is too happy to accept it. He found himself new friends and was glad that he did. Somehow the loneliness he feel seems to be lessened because of the people he have met.
During Friday after classes he would immediately pack his bags and go alone on that 5-hours travel back home. That is the only time he can spend it with his family. And he is happy, even just for two days he can see them. Early morning of Mondays, he would go back alone and take that 5-hours travel again. He would go directly to school and endure the tiredness creeping on his body due to lack of sleep. He could never go out with his friends on weekends for picnics or swimming because he wants to spend it more with his family. But his friends understands that and knows how hard it to be away from loved ones.
There are times that he cannot go home and would stay there on the weekends. Busying himself with assignments and projects just to make time and the loneliness pass. He would go out at times with his friends just to feel alright and somehow his friends tries their best. He have seen their effort and tried to enjoy those times together with them.
Soon he became busy with his school and friends that he cannot go home during weekends. His parents would sometimes visit him when they got the time and he is happy that somehow they remember that they got a child living far away from them. Away from the warmth of their hug and protection of their love. And tears always follow when they leave him. How the boy would cry because he is missing all of them. Then came the holidays and vacations where he is at his most happiest. He always makes the best out of it and spend more time at home rather than outside. But then he needs to go back and he finds loneliness settling in his heart again.
Two years has passed since he was sent to that little town. The young boy was now sixteen and he came back home to pursue college.
On that night when he came back, he couldn't sleep and decided to go down to take a breathe of fresh air. On the living room he saw his father and mother sitting quietly. He went inside to see how they are doing.
"It's good to have you back, my child.", his mother said.
"Yes, I am glad...", the boy replied.
"Did you learned things when you are out there on your own?", his father asked.
"A lot of things... things I never knew."
"Like what?"
"I learned how to value friendship. I met a lot of people and they became my friends. They helped me through a lot of times, they are there when I am happy and comforts me when I am sad. And they have accepted me for who and what I am. Never judged me, not even once. For friends, they always understand. Never questioned me for the things I have done. For friends, they gave me patience and trust. I have learned how to value family. I met a lot of people but yet my heart remains with all of you. I was alone and I got friends but the pain was never taken away unless I am with you. How the longing made me suffer but at the end of it all I ended up strong. Because there might be miles between us but I know that you are there waiting for me. I learned how to value respect. I met a lot of people and gained acceptance. We learned how to respect one another's feelings, words and perspectives. We all have difference and respect makes it all equal. Those people not gifted with acceptance would never see what others can. I learned not all people can accept you for your chosen identity but do not bear a grudge on them. Instead, understand them and be grateful that you have an open heart and mind. I learned how to live life. I met a lot of people and they have changed mine. A lot of things has happened, problems and situations. And with each I learned many things. To take chances and never to regret, to make the best of what you have and be contented, to see each opportunity as a way to grow. The road of life was never easy... but people, places and situations makes it worth the while."
Now that boy has already grown up and have seen more things and learned more lessons than before. He is here right now, with all of you. Writing his blog entries every day and giving out wonderful messages to his friends. His life is a hard road to travel but whose life isn't? It is up to us on what we would do along that road that will make it easier. It doesn't matter what Time will reveal because as long as you know how to make the best out of it, then it would never be wasted. And he has discovered himself within others.
TROY 2009
